it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can't put those talents on a resume
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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