My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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