did you get engaged???
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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