On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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