i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
