When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
