If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
