I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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