fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i barfeds in our rink
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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