shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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