Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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