Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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