nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
