I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
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