I think I am morally bankrupt
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
