Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
