You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
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Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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