if you like me you must not know who I am
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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