He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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