careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
