Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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