I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
