my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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