I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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