well I can't set my house on fire every night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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