This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
