Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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