im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
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I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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