All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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