he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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