shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
