saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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