Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
