Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
