absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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