wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
