you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
