found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
