I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020