But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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