Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
