he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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