We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
