He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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