If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
