Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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