it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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