I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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