Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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