Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
