Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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