My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
