I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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