My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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