So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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