Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
