people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
