is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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