best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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