Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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