I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
