I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
People in love make me want to vomit
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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