I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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