I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
