I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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