Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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