So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
