Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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