i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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